Motherhood Guilt

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From the time you discovered that you were pregnant, you were bombarded with messages about what a mother should and shouldn’t do. Expectations undoubtedly came flying at you from every direction before you even had a chance to prepare. They didn’t stop when you had your baby, either. They actually seem to have gotten worse! Of course, you can’t meet any of these expectations because no human being can. But instead of brushing it off and resolving to just do the best you can, you feel like a failure.
This is the dreaded mommy guilt.
Unfortunately, almost every mother feels this guilt...and almost every mother thinks they are the only ones. The worst part is that mothers feel guilty for feeling guilty. If you are part of this unfortunate lot, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone.
Everyone has their opinions on how parents should parent but at the end of the day, you must decide what’s best for you and your child. What worked for someone else’s child may not work for yours and what worked for one of your children may not work for the other. Parenting isn’t an exact science. The best anyone can do is what they feel to be right.
Another major component of mommy guilt that absolutely has to be addressed is the idea that taking care of yourself makes you selfish, and thus a bad mother. Sadly, this lie is imposed most vehemently by other mothers. How much a mother can do on the least amount of sleep and social interaction has become something of a sport. Lost hours are traded like war stories.
Do not engage in these games!
Being the best mother you can be means taking care of yourself as well. This may seem obvious but when you only have 20 minutes of free time and you can either rest or straighten up the house, this is easily forgotten. Even if you do feel guilty rest anyway, have a night out anyway, take care of yourself anyway. 
The cure for guilt is accepting that you will never be perfect, and neither will anyone else. Take all that energy you’ve been using to get everything right and put it towards enjoying parenthood and life as much as possible.

By: Alecia Stanton

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